Single, Lonely, Depressed? Have you suffered from any of these symptoms because of your marital status? When was the last time that you had a complete emotional meltdown? Does it seem like no one cares? If you answered yes to any of these questions or have found yourself in the same situations, then this is the place for you.

Cinderella
Ever since I was a young girl, I could remember fantasizing about that day when I wouldwalk down the aisle. In this dream, I am the bride to be, all dolled up with a foofy hairdo and sparkly slippers. My gown is uniquely tailored, with a train long enough to wrap around the borders of Alaska. There are several Bride’s maids frantically scattered about, attending to my every need. I can just hear them now, “Where is her tiara?” and “Did anyone pick up her veil from the Dry Cleaners?” The sanctuary is elegantly decorated with fresh flowers, candles, and lights all around. There is a hint of Jasmine dancing about in the air. All of my friends and family are waiting for the marriage ceremony to start when suddenly; the cracking sound of the wedding march begins… Here Comes The Bride! Exciting isn’t it? In fact, I would love for this fantasy to one day become my reality. But if it doesn’t, I am still going to live my life.
It Time to Settle Some Things
Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock… This is your biological clock! I have heard just about every piece of advice, there is for a Single Woman: “You poor thing keep the faith, God will send him soon,” exclaimed this precious woman of faith. “Girrrrrrl, you’ve been in church this long, and still haven’t found you a husband!” My all time favorite is, “What are you waiting for? The Rapture is going to take place and you’re still going to be single!” I have heard everything from, “you’re too picky” to “he’s not good enough for you.” And I am sure that my Family, Peer and Elders all had good intentions when speaking these voluntary words of wisdom. However, if I took half of the counsel dropped on my doorstep, I would be one messed up Sista, or even worse married to a man who was not right for me. I made a vow to never let people, life, or circumstances pressure me into believing that I have to hurry up and get married. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He did not make a mistake when he wrote this chapter for my life entitled, Single. And neither did he error, when he created one for you. Acceptance is your first step to victory. Therefore, Ladies start thanking him for your singleness and watch the miracles begin to unfold!
Fantasy- (fan’te-se, -ze) n. An imagined event or sequence of mental images, such as a daydream, usually fulfilling a wish or psychological need.
I know Single Women, who live on the planet of fantasy. They sit and dream about the day when a knight in shining will come and sweep them off their feet. In addition, they have every detail of their future lives already planned out. This includes Holidays, Weddings, Bridal Showers, Baby Showers and even the blue prints to their first house. The only thing missing is the actual man. If you are a healthy Venusian, these kinds of thoughts probably enter your mind periodically and there is nothing wrong with that. It becomes problematic when these types of fantasies consume your thoughts and dictate your actions daily. These woolgatherers carry on in conversation, as if they are one week away from jumping the broom, when they are not even in a relationship? It is important that we keep a hold on to reality because if we do not it will lead us down the road of false hopes and expectations. (Fantasy+Expectation= Drama) A Note to The Drama Queens: Just because life or relationships do not work out the way that you plan, it doesn’t give you the right to turn into an emotional wreck. Throwing temper tantrums and performing as if you are auditioning for a Broadway Play is not acceptable. This behavior probably worked at the age of two. However, this will not fly at the blossoming ages of 20, 30, or 40. Slipping into Chronic Depression is not the answer- Jesus is. None of these emotional deficits will attract a man, but it will send all the right ones running for the border. It is wise that we put our hope and trust, in reality-based situations.
“I am blessed to say that God has placed some wonderful people in my path and just like the icing on top of a cake, they add a touch sweetness to my life, but they are not the source of my happiness- God is.”
These last few years have been the best years of my Single Life; that is because I have learned to take responsibility for my own happiness. I am blessed to say that God has placed some wonderful people in my path and just like the icing on top of a cake, they add a touch sweetness to my life, but they are not the source of my happiness- God is. People have asked me, “How do you maintain a happy life as a Single Woman?” And my answer to that question is, to stay connected with The Lover of Your Soul. There is nothing like spending quality time with God. Often time Woman believe that they will discover happiness and fulfillment in a relationship. When really, if you are not feeling like Mary Poppins now, you will not be then. The bible says that in his presence is the fullness of joy. If you are in a constant state of sadness and depression then you haven’t been spending enough time with Jesus. For the next 24 hours, I want you to pretend that you are married to The Lord. In the morning before rushing off to work, take the time out just to say I love you. On your lunch break, call him up (in prayer) just to let him know that you are thinking about him. Go throughout your day like this and watch the difference it makes. I guarantee that you will be smiling in no time!
” Do whatever it takes to make your present life worth living. It is time to pick your heads up and start walking in the destiny that God has for you.”
To groom, or not to groom, that is the question? I have seen too many Single Women who have lost their motivation. They don’t put much effort into their personal upkeep, and you can forget about setting goals, or participating in leisure time activities. This particular sect of Single Ladies would prefer to stay at home, look frumpy, and mope about their situation. It would take a Swat Team to break them out of their barricade of Haagen Dazs and Francine Rivers Novels. Life is too short and you only get one chance to be Soltera. My advice to you, is to live your Single life to the fullest. Go out and do all the things that you have wanted to do. Travel, start your own business, write a book, go back to school. Kiss all of those bad hair days, and bummie clothes goodbye. Do whatever it takes to make your present life worth living. It is time to pick your heads up and start walking in the destiny that God has for you. You never know, while you are out conquering the world, you may just run into your prince charming.